I haven’t even started Plan C and already I’m ready to scrap it for Plan D. I literally spent the better part of the day trying to figure out exactly what -if any- my expectations of this blog were (other than being offered a book and/or movie deal and a spot on Oprahs couch of course). It was then I realized, after my 50th witty and thought provoking mental rough draft [what a waste], that the problem with starting a blog is exactly that. Where exactly does one start?
Strolling up and down the baby food aisle of Babies R Us it hit me. There is way to much shit to blog about. The 5 second debate on whether to stock up on Earths Best or Plum generated at LEAST 6 different blog entries: is organic really worth it? squeezy pouch or glass? Did they really fit chicken, apples and risotto into that little ass jar? Who eats purple carrots?... You get the point… Cue anxiety attack #1. My blog doesn’t even have a name yet and I’m completely overwhelmed with topics! Luckily enough for me, I caught a glimpse of the sea creature looking baby on the industrial size box of newborn diapers and breathed a deep sigh of relief and had a moment of clarity. Who the fuck blogs about baby food?! Being a mom is only one side of me. My entire universe revolves around my kids…now I’m going to BLOG about them?!...I don’t think so. I’m sure they’ll pop up here and there but I have other things to talk about too. That being said, I have decided that there IS no purpose of this blog. It exists simply because I’m to unorganized to write a book, no longer 16 and pregnant, nor drunk enough to star in my own reality tv show and therefore must resort to plan c. A blog. My own little slice of cyber space to spew the irrational, immature, and impulsive nonsense that some how finds its way into that pretty, but still kind of twisted little head of mine out on “paper”.
So I guess that brings me to the now. And right now I’m about to watch Resident Evil with my Sig O, three different flavors of Häagen-Dazs, two types of salsa and three brands of chips. Just to clarify, for those of you who don’t know, my significant other and I are former drug addicts (please feel free to judge…I would if I weren’t me). And although we never crossed paths while actively using, the fact of the matter remains that even when you take the drugs away, the addict part is still very much present. Which is why ONE flavor of anything is never enough…and since we don’t spend money on copious amounts of heroin and cocaine we can afford the $6 pints.
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